Make your chest but wet for another newsletter! 💦 Dutch is fake? 🙀
And: Why "how ya going?" is actually really old-fashioned 👵🏻
Welcome to the latest instalment of English and the Dutch, the newsletter with tips and tricks, fun facts, new translations and other good stuff about how Dutch speakers speak English. In your inbox every second Wednesday. (Or every third Wednesday during the summer holidays.)
The newsletter is written by me, Heddwen Newton. I’m a translator, teacher, linguist, and owner of the website www.hoezegjeinhetEngels.nl.
Quiz
The Dutch speaker isn’t saying what they want to say with these sentences. What does the English speaker understand, and how should the Dutch speaker have worded it?
My daughter has amazing fantasy.
She also knows lots of poetry out of her head.
She loves babbling about her passion.
The idiom depicted here is the same in English and Dutch. What’s the idiom in Dutch? And what is it in English?
Dutch/English in the news
Americans think Dutch is a fake language
There’s a joke going round the English-speaking internet that Dutch isn’t a real language, and this article has collected a few examples. If you speak Dutch, it can be a little hard to see what the non-Dutch speaker thinks is so funny. Double vowels tend to spark laughter (I am Groot was not chosen as a catchphrase for nothing), and just the fact that it can be similar but then just a little different from English seems to be the fun of it. (Also in this article: people thinking Afrikaans is Dutch.)
Reading time: 3 minutes / Cracked
Suus uses lots of English loanwords, but don’t worry, Dutch will sort it out
Lots of people have been annoyed at the many English words and expressions that a Dutch reality-TV star has been using in her Dutch. This article explains that, yes, there is a lot of English coming into Dutch right now. But: 40% of loanwords disappear within a generation, and others get so Dutchified that they can no longer be recognised as loanwords. Dutch will be fine.
Reading time: 3 minutes (in Dutch) / Algemeen Dagblad
Australia’s oldest living person is also believed to be oldest Dutch person
Catherina van der Linden is 111 years old, and still rides her bike.
Reading time: 3 minutes / ABC News
Fun fact: how do you do?
Here is something you might have learned at school: when you meet and Englishman from the UK, that person will say “How do you do?” and instead of answering the question, you are expected to answer “How do you do?”.
As a Brit, I can tell you: this is, like, 100 years out of date. Don't do it.
However, I recently learned that modern Australian English does something very similar. They say “How ya goin'?” And the answer is, you guessed it, “How ya goin'?”
The Anglo-Saxon tradition of completely ignoring questions lives on!
I once read that to the “how do you do?”- sayers of yore, “how do you do?” wasn't a question, but a synonym of “nice to meet you” or “nice to see you again”. So, to them, there was no question that was not being answered. I guess it's the same for Australians. Readers in Australia: let me know!
“How do you do?” can still be seen in the American greeting “Howdie”. It can NOT be seen in the Noord-Brabant parting phrase “houdoe”, however plausible the story that it came from the Second World War liberators. It simply comes from Houdt oe eigen goed.
So, what should you say?
When greeting someone in Britain or America, in case you were wondering, you are expected to say “How are you?”. And you are expected to answer “Good, how are you?” or “Fine, how are you?”
On no account are you expected to actually give the other person details on how you are, or tell them that you aren't doing so well.
(An exception would be something like your mother's funeral, in which case you are permitted, just, to say something like “You know, hanging in there. How are you?”)
Whenever I am in a “how are you?”- situation I realise that I am culturally more Dutch than British because I cannot stand it . Only ask me the question if you really want to know! Grrrr!
Recent translations
I post a new article about a difficult-to-translate Dutch word or phrase on my website every day. Here is a selection from the past two weeks.
Nakomertje
Dutch has a word for a child that is born quite a few years after its siblings that English has no translation for. In English, you have to choose why it happened, and even then it’s not very clear. Either the baby was an afterthought, something the parents just didn’t think of earlier. Or perhaps the parents had been trying for another one for years, and then finally there it was, a miracle child. Or perhaps it was a case of a lady going through menopause thinking she doesn’t need to take contraception so seriously anymore, and then, boom, surprise baby.
Coincidentally, I myself am a nakomertje, but none of the three options above are a good fit. My mother just wanted another one, and thought waiting until the other two were a bit more self-sufficient was a good idea. So I am left with being the baby of the family, or explaining that my two sisters are quite a bit older than me. Frustrating! Article here.
Een open deur
I suspect there are quite a few Dutch speakers out there who talk about something being an “open door” in English, but this term cannot be translated literally. Instead, the English is “to state the obvious”. If someone makes a remark that is an open deur, a fun English response is “Jee, thanks, captain obvious!”. More here.
Onderonsje
Such a fantastic Dutch word, shame on English for not having an equally nice translation. In English you have to make do with something like “private discussion”. I have not been able to find a satisfactory translation for the situation when onderonsje is used to refer to a chat between friends that is full of inside jokes and is difficult for others to follow. More here.
Maak je borst maar nat
In English you have to choose why you are required to make your chest wet. Is it going to be a bad experience? You’re in for a tough time! Will you be required to work hard? Time to roll up your sleeves! Is it a general vague warning? Get ready! Or perhaps you are in for a fun time? Prepare for an adventure! More here.
Answers quiz
My daughter has amazing fantasy.
The English speaker understands: mijn dochter heeft geweldige boeken in het fantasy genre
The Dutch speaker should have said: my daughter has an amazing imagination. More here.
She also knows lots of poetry out of her head.
In this case, the English speaker will struggle to make sense of the sentence. Here are some options they might think of.
She also knows lots of poetry, and she is out of her head (Ze kent ook veel gedichten, en ze is niet goed bij haar hoofd.)
She also knows lots of poetry, but then she puts it out of her head. (Ze kent ook veel gedichten, maar die zet ze dan weer uit haar hoofd.)
She also knows lots of poetry that is out of its head. (Ze kent ook veel gestoorde gedichten.)
The Dutch speaker should have said: She also knows lots of poetry off by heart. More here.
She loves babbling about her passion.
The English speaker understands: ze houdt ervan over haar passie te raaskallen. The English speaker thinks something is seriously wrong with the daughter!
The Dutch speaker should have said: she loves chatting about her passion. More here.
Idiom
Het gras is altijd groener aan de overkant
The grass is always greener on the other side
(The full English expression is “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence”, but many people do not bother with the “of the fence” part.)
And finally…
This clip from 2018 has been doing the rounds on social media again lately. Race car driver Max Verstappen gives his colleagues a Dutch lesson. I’m not into race cars at all, but this is really cute.
Thanks for reading! If this newsletter was sent to you by someone of obvious impeccable taste, you can use this button to subscribe:
The number of mistakes in this newsletter is directly proportionate to the number of times my three-year-old woke me up last night.
You made my realize that I used the word fantasy in the wrong way on my Blog and I immediately corrected it. Thanks! Give your three-year-old a knuffel from me!